Master Your State: The Triangle That Transforms Performance

In this episode, I explore one of the most powerful tools in mental performance: the Triangle of State—the connection between your physiology, focus, and language. Whether you're an athlete, coach, or parent, you'll learn how to shift your emotional and mental state by taking control of your body, attention, and self-talk.

I'll share real-life examples, explain why we often let our state dictate our behaviors, and offer practical strategies to flip the script. If you’ve ever struggled to “get in the zone” or bounce back after a mistake, this episode is for you.

Tune in and learn how to train your state—on and off the field.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

I'm Dr. Nassim Ebrahimi, and welcome to Becoming My Stronger Me, a podcast designed to help you become stronger in mind, body, and heart. In season two, the mental performance series, we'll explore the intricate relationship between mental performance, sports excellence, leadership, and personal growth to help you become your stronger you. Today we're diving into one of my favorite tools for athletes, coaches, and really anyone navigating pressure or performance. The triangle of state. If you've ever said to yourself, I just didn't feel like myself, or my head wasn't in it, or I couldn't get out of my own way, this episode is for you. What's the triangle of state? The triangle of state is a framework that helps us understand the relationship between our body, our focus, and our self-talk. Picture a triangle. At each corner, you've got physiology, your body, your posture, your breath, and movement. At another point, you have focus, what you're paying attention to. And at another point, you have language, the words you use, especially the ones that you say to yourself. Together, these three create your state, that mental and emotional place you're operating from at any given point. Here's the thing: most people don't realize that we usually let our state take the lead. If we feel nervous, our body slumps. If we feel frustrated, our focus narrows to mistakes. If we feel defeated, our self-talk turns negative. Why do I even try? But what if it worked the other way around? What if instead of letting our state control our body, focus, and language, we use those three elements to change our state? That's the power of this triangle. It's not just descriptive, it's prescriptive. You can intervene at any corner and shift how you feel, think, and perform. So why does this matter in sports? Well, in sport, your state is everything. You could have all the talent in the world, but if you're not in a state that supports performance, it won't matter. I've worked with athletes who've trained for months only to unravel under pressure. Not because they lacked skill, but because they didn't know how to manage their state. And I've seen players with half the technical and tactical ability thrive. Simply because they stayed grounded and confident when the stakes were high. Now, this applies to coaches too. When you're calm and focused, your players mirror that. When you're reactive and chaotic, guess what? So are they. Let's talk about what this might look like in real life. Let's take a volleyball player who's constantly getting stuck after making a mistake. Her body language tenses, her eyes drop, and her self-talks begins to spiral. I'm letting everyone down. I can't do this. This team is too hard. I can't compete at this level. If you practice resetting her triangle in those moments, one deep breath, that's her physiology. Refocusing on her next move, that's focus. And a Q word like reset, next play, you got this, that's language. Within weeks, her confidence on the court will transform. Not because the mistakes disappear, but because she stops getting stuck in them. Now, for coaches, I've worked with a coach that realized he was overcoaching during games. His focus was on errors, his body language was stressed, and his language, though well-intentioned, added pressure. By shifting his focus to positive reinforcement and his language to questions instead of commands, his team played more freely. And he found more joy in coaching. And for parents, especially after those tough games, how you show up matters. If you're anxious, critical, or focused on performance over effort, your athlete will feel that. Try grounding yourself with a breath. That's the physiology. Try focusing on connection. That's focus. And lead with support. I loved watching you play today. That creates a space for growth, not a place where they shut down. So how can you take this kind of control over your state instead of letting the state control you? Well, first I would say check in with your body. Is your jaw clenched? Are your shoulders tight? Is your breath shallow? Take one deep breath, one intentional breath. Roll your shoulders back, ground your feet, let your body send a message to your brain that says, I'm in control. You can also check in with your focus and potentially redirect it. What are you looking at or thinking about? Is it the past? Is it the scoreboard? Are you thinking about that one mistake? And bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on your next step, not the last one. And lastly, reframe your language. What are you saying to yourself in that moment? Would you say that to a teammate or someone that you really care about? If not, change it. Instead, try, I've trained for this. One moment at a time. Let's go. These small shifts add up, and over time they become automatic. And that is when the magic happens. Now let's think about this skill, this framework beyond the game. It doesn't stop at the sidelines, job interviews, test day, big decisions, conflicts and relationships. The triangle of state works anywhere, everywhere. You don't have to be at the mercy of your emotions. You can learn to regulate them by mastering your body, your focus, and your language. So here's what I want you to remember. You don't have to feel confident to act confidently. Let me say that again. You don't have to feel confident to act confidently. You don't have to feel motivated to take that first step. And you don't have to feel calm to choose calm. Your state is not something that just happens to you. You can create it. And you can start with the triangle. Thank you for being with me today. If this episode resonated with you, send it to a teammate, a coach, or a parent who might need it. And if you're interested in learning how to apply this work one-on-one or with your team, reach out. I'd love to support you. Until next time, keep training your body, your mind, and your voice. Keep becoming your stronger you. Until next time, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, join our Facebook group, send in your stories and feedback. And if you're looking for a mental performance coach or want more information, go to www.becoming my strongerme.com. I can't wait to hear from you.