The Confidence Equation

Confidence isn’t something that just appears on game day—it’s something you build, train, and protect.

In this episode, I break down the Confidence Equation:
Confidence = Trusting Your Skills + Owning Your Role.

Through research and practical strategies, I'll explain how athletes can strengthen confidence by grounding it in preparation, self-awareness, and purpose. Learn how to shift from hoping to believing, how to find your place even when your role changes, and how to perform with composure when it matters most.

This episode also explores how coaches can build confidence through clear communication and feedback, and how parents can help their athletes cultivate confidence that lasts—on and off the field.

Because confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s a skill. And it’s one every athlete can train.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

I'm Dr. Nassim Ebrahimi, and welcome to Becoming My Stronger Me, a podcast designed to help you become stronger in mind, body, and heart. In season two, the mental performance series, we'll explore the intricate relationship between mental performance, sports excellence, leadership, and personal growth to help you become your stronger you. Today we're talking about something every athlete wants more of. Every coach tries to build, and every parent hopes their child develops. Confidence. But instead of treating confidence like a feeling that comes and goes, I want to help you see that it is something you can train, measure, and strengthen over time, just like endurance or strength. And to do that, we'll use a simple but powerful formula I call the confidence equation. Confidence equals trusting your skills plus owning your role. That's it. Two parts, both equally important. And when one side is lacking or is lower, confidence wobbles unless the other side picks up the slack. So let's go a little bit further in depth into each part. Let's start with the first part, trusting your skills. This is the foundation. It's about knowing that the work you've put in matters and allowing that preparation to show up when it counts. Athletes often say, I just need to believe in myself. And but belief without evidence is hard to sustain. That's why trusting your skills is actually built on proof. It's built on the moments you've done the work, the hours at practice, the times that you've overcome those small setbacks along the way and you've improved. Think about a basketball player who's made a thousand free throws in training. When they step up to the line with the game on the line, they're not hoping. They're remembering. They're recalling all the times that they've already done it, that they've already made that same shot. That's what trust looks like in motion. Letting the body do what the body knows how to do. Research in sports psychology supports this idea. Dr. Albert Bandora, who introduced the concept of self-efficacy, found that confidence grows most reliably from mastery experiences, actually doing the thing successfully. Visualization, of course, helps, and I talk about this in other episodes, and encouragement helps, but nothing replaces experience. That's why consistent practice matters, not just for performance, but for building the mental bank of proof that fuels half of that equation for confidence, trusting your skills. So athletes, ask yourself: what have I already proven to myself in training? What is it that I can do? Because your confidence grows every time you recognize the evidence of your own progress. And let me point out, it's not just about listing a whole list of technical skills related to your sport or tactical skills related to your sport or even just physical skills related to your sport. But think about your ability to communicate, your ability to learn, your ability to recover quickly from mistakes. These are all important skills that you need to trust in order to stabilize your confidence. Now let's talk about the second part of that equation: owning your role. This is where confidence becomes more than just personal, it becomes more relational. Owning a role means understanding how you fit into the bigger picture and then embracing it fully, whether it's being the captain who leads, the substitute who brings energy from the bench, or the defender who sacrifices for the team. Too often athletes tie their confidence to outcomes, like starting versus not starting or sitting at the start of a game, scoring versus missing, winning versus losing. But those are all circumstances. Confidence built on circumstances is really fragile. But confidence built on identity, knowing your own value and your role is steady. When you own your role, you give yourself permission to matter in that moment and in every moment. And I've worked with high school soccer players who have struggled after moving from a starting position to then coming off the bench. And at first, confidence does dip. But once you can reframe the mindset, focusing on how you can change the tempo when you come off the base, control the energy, or even mentor the other players. Confidence comes back in full force. Minutes no longer define you. Instead, the impact that you have in the game becomes most important. And that shift from performance to purpose is where confidence really deepens. There's a strong body of research linking role clarity to athlete confidence. Studies published in the Journal of Applied Sports Psychology show that when athletes clearly understand their responsibilities, they experience less anxiety and perform more consistently under pressure. So, coaches, this is where you come in. Role clarity starts with communication. The clearer you are about expectations, the easier it is for athletes to trust what's being asked of them and prepare mentally for it. Confidence doesn't just come from vague encouragement like believe in yourself. It comes from consistent messages like, here's what you're doing well, here's where we're gonna be growing, and here's how you can help this team win, or you can help this team be successful. That's the difference between motivation and development. So, how can we apply this equation, this confidence equation in practice? Let's bring the two pieces together. For example, before a game or competition, take a moment to mentally check in with the equation. Ask yourself, what are my skills and am I trusting them in this moment? What's my role today? And can I own that? If one feels shaky, that becomes your focus area as you prepare for the game. For example, if you're struggling to trust your skills, go back in your mind to the evidence that you have. Review your preparation, watch clips of your good performances, or visualize yourself succeeding. If you're struggling to own your role, zoom out. Ask yourself, what does my team need from me today? And how can I deliver it in a way that's effective? This framework helps athletes control what's controllable because confidence isn't about predicting outcomes, it's about preparing your mind and your body to respond well, no matter what the outcome. Coaches, one of the most practical ways to apply this equation is through your feedback. Help your athletes build trust in their skills by highlighting specific progress, not just effort. Instead of saying you're improving, say your first touch has become sharper. You've clearly been working on that. Specific feedback strengthens memory and memory reinforces confidence. And when it comes to owning roles, make time to redefine them often because teams evolve, players grow, revisit conversations about how each athlete contributes to the team's identity. It not only clarifies purpose, but it reduces comparison and builds that collective confidence that we want in a championship team. Another tip for coaches use training environments to challenge, but not crush their confidence. The research on optimal challenge shows that confidence grows most when athletes face tasks that stretch but don't overwhelm their skill level. That's the sweet spot. That's where we're going to help them push into flow state. For parents, well, parents play a huge role here too. Confidence at home often determines how it shows up in competition. When your athlete comes home after a tough game, lead with curiosity, not correction. Instead of why didn't you play well? Try, what did you learn today? Or what moment felt the toughest. That kind of language reinforces that performance doesn't define their worth. It creates psychological safety, the space where true confidence will grow. Also, praise effort and process, not just talent. Research from Dr. Carol Dweck's work on growth mindset shows that when kids are praised for effort, they build resilience. When they're praised only for the outcomes, they become much more fragile under pressure. You can build confidence by helping your athletes see the link between their preparation and their performance, reminding them of their work ethic, their consistency, and their character, not just their stats. Finally, let's zoom out and talk about building confidence beyond sports. This equation doesn't just apply to athletes, it applies to life. Trusting your skills might mean believing in your leadership and your creativity and your communication. Owning your role might mean showing up as an employee, a teammate, a parent, a leader, wherever you are in your season of life. Confidence is not a feeling that you wait for, it's a relationship you build with yourself over time. And when you find that balance, when you trust your skills and own your role, you start performing with calm, grounded confidence that no outcome can shake. Until next time, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, join our Facebook group, send in your stories and feedback. And if you're looking for a mental performance coach or want more information, go to www.becoming my strongerme.com. We can't wait to hear from you.